The truth is you will never know the answers to the many “why” questions that are associated with online dating.
The difference between online dating and meeting someone at a bar is the
personal interaction which instantly develops a relationship. When you meet
someone online you are simply a number or profile picture until the first encounter. So when someone never texts you but will
always respond when you text, when someone just randomly stops responding after
weeks of great conversation, and when someone blows off your plans three or
four times… You sit and wonder Why?!?! I have had friends approach me and ask for
advice on numerous occasions asking "why" questions similar to those. I always
explain it in a similar fashion, online dating is tricky and you can’t take it
personally. People are most likely talking to other people, life happens and
people get distracted, and people do actually get busy with work/school and get
sick. The truth of the matter is, LIFE HAPPENS! The key is not to get that invested until you meet someone and know that something
is actually there and to make sure you don’t instantly think the worst when
they don’t answer your text within 15 minutes. I’ll go over some potential
situations and some ways to handle situations when you are left wondering "why".
Situation 1: You are always the one initiating conversation.
This one is honestly tricky and the rules apply differently
for guys than ladies. Ladies expect the guy to text them and guys are more laid
back and won’t even notice at times if they are always initiating conversation. Ladies you need to remember not to get
invested. You can keep initiating and attempt one hangout session or suggest one date. If he does not take the bait then drop it, if his reason is legit he
will come after you and start initiating but most likely he isn’t all that
interested and is just filling in his day at work with responding to your texts
because, let’s be honest people like attention.
Gentlemen, woman expect you to text. So you should not worry as much if
you are always initiating conversation. But if you notice you have tried
arranging a date and she is not jumping at the opportunity then you might want
to take a step back with an open ended, “Well, you let me know when you are free
and we can get that coffee, ” placing the ball in her court. Placing the ball
in her court will then eliminate the why she just might not have it in her to
tell you she is not interested anymore.
Situation 2: Someone stops texting after weeks of
conversation.
“Like I just don’t get it we were talking and everything was
going so well, why aren’t they answering??”
Well, things are truly not going well until there is one date and a conversation after that first date. Like I have said and will say countless times more, the majority of people online dating are talking to more than one person and will drop communication with whomever else if they meet someone and have a somewhat of a connection. Don’t take it personally!!!!!! They have never met you! Move on to the next and be done with it. I have been the person to text someone a few weeks later saying something like “Hello stranger what ever happened” and I have gotten a response… but at that point do you want to meet someone like that ? Someone who comes up with a bull shit response that life has been busy the past two weeks? Nope. So don’t even bother.
Well, things are truly not going well until there is one date and a conversation after that first date. Like I have said and will say countless times more, the majority of people online dating are talking to more than one person and will drop communication with whomever else if they meet someone and have a somewhat of a connection. Don’t take it personally!!!!!! They have never met you! Move on to the next and be done with it. I have been the person to text someone a few weeks later saying something like “Hello stranger what ever happened” and I have gotten a response… but at that point do you want to meet someone like that ? Someone who comes up with a bull shit response that life has been busy the past two weeks? Nope. So don’t even bother.
Situation 3: When someone blows off plans.
So you have gotten to the point in conversation where you
are comfortable and want to meet the other person. You make plans and the other person keeps
cancelling last minute with different excuses. Now many things could be taking
place. This person could be scared, busy, has no interest in ever meeting but
enjoys conversation, is currently in a sticky situation with another person
that is back and forth, or just simply flaky. Whatever the reason, you do not
want to waste time getting to know someone for weeks or months if you are never
going to get to meet them. After the third or fourth attempt straight out ask, “So
are we ever going to get a chance to meet?” If they give a simple response like
“Yea” or “Of course I’m sorry just been really busy.” You could respond with a genuine
response similar to this based off the situation, “Okay good because I am
looking forward to meeting you just seems you are always busy and I’m not sure
if that’s the case or if you are nervous about meeting or maybe have something
else going on but when you definitely have time get back to me and we will
figure something out.” Then you need to be distant. You laid it out there that
you wanted to meet. You called out the
busy and nervous factors and now you need to become distant and if they are
truly interested they will make the effort. Honestly, odds are they won’t
though.
If you are asking yourself anymore “Why” questions please
comment and I’ll answer away… I am almost 100% certain I have been in the
situation your questioning on numerous occasions.
#advice #online #dating #onlinedating #why #questions #datingadvice