How I got started: First Kiss

I was at my friends when we heard about a house party. My friend Megan explained to us, “Okay guys so there is a party at my friends house that I work with…..one rule though… No vomiting.” It seemed easy enough to all of us to agree that that was a simple enough rule to obey.

 We got some Mikes hard lemonade threw it in some water bottles and started drinking on our walk over. It was a nice cool day in May, sweatshirt and Capri weather. I remember this because I was wearing a band sweatshirt I had stolen from my sister because I thought it made me look cool. I was 15 at the time, end of my sophomore year of high school, not a care in the world.

By the time our walk was over we were all a little tipsy. We continued drinking among the many people at this party. It was very apparent that we were the youngest people at this party. It was my friends Stephanie, Megan, Krista and Matt with me. I cannot remember the details of the night but I do recall me breaking the one rule…

There I was on the front lawn puking my brains out. Megan next to me with Stephanie, I stuttered, “Im soooo sorry.” Megan laughed, she always does, she wasn’t upset with me. I was able to build some composure and go back inside. Now inside a big man approaches me, We will call him “Mike”, I do not recall his real name. He was one of the people whom was hosting the party. He was about 17 or 18 and had a pretty big build. He brings me into a room where my friend Krista and a guy were making out on a bed. King sized bed that is we proceed to go on the other half. Megan, some guy and Stephanie end up following us in and plop on the floor. This is when it happened…

Mike started to sweet talk me. Before this moment I had never kissed a guy, not even a peck. Little girls picture their first kiss over and over again. This is not how I ever imagined it to be. Drunk, puck mouth, with an overweight man who was clearly trying to take advantage of a drunk 15 year old girl. Hot! I know.

So we started to kiss. Don’t forget Krista right there next to me making out with her boy. Megan on floor with a boy trying to get in her pants as Stephanie lays with her head in Megan’s crotch to prevent it. And here I am drunkly having this man heavy breathing and slobbering all over my face. Next thing I notice is that he has whipped it out!! And takes my hand and puts it on it. I made a few movements with my hand on his junk. Then he tries undoing my button to my pants and slipping his hand down. I use my other hand to pull his hand away and I take my other hand away from his area. He quickly gets up angrily and proceeds to go to another room and I assume to rub one out. Later I find out he had tried to stick his hand down Stephanie’s pants and she had slapped him. Yup, and that is how I had my first kiss. 

Forever tainted.

#first #kiss #firstkiss #dating #party #drinking

Funny Date Experience: He thought he was texting his friend.

I felt the need for a quick date horror story I encountered that ended the following day with an extremely funny ending ….

So I had recently ended things with a guy I was “dating.” No titles were given, but we were  exclusively seeing each other for about 3 months.  He ended things by a simple text that read, “I’m not ready for this” and I never heard from again… but that is another story that will be told at a later date. Point being, after things ended I went back to my typical online dating rampage. I started messaging and responding to people like it was my job. Mostly I looking for distractions and potentially that next “mister right.” Well this man whom I started to talk to I knew off the bat I would not be entirely interested in but I was in the state of mind to “give people a shot.” This is one of the times I wish I would have followed my own advice and trusted my instincts.

His photos followed all my rules of having people in them, but he did not have a Facebook.  He explained since he worked with kids he did not want one for them to find which I found as a decent reason but it should have sent off a bigger red flag for me. We chatted on the site OkCupid for a few days then quickly exchanged numbers. Now I am not the best writer (which you are probably starting to notice if you have been reading my posts) but I am intelligent. This guy had no concept of anything and used slang left and right and sounded extremely (excuse my terminology) “ghetto.” We spoke on the phone and oh my goodness it was even worse. Everything was telling me "do not meet up with this guy." Well, it was Cinco de Mayo and I had plans to go bar hopping in a local port area with a friend. He called when I was driving home from work and asked what I was up to for the night, I expressed how I was going out with my friend. He instantly said, “I will get some friends together and meet you down there,” completely inviting himself.  I am a fairly honest person, sometimes too honest. I told him, “You can come down, but just warning I am going out with my friend and If we don’t stay with you guys do not take it personally, regardless it’s a fun area and you guys will enjoy it.” He responded, “So you are going to ditch me?” I responded, “Uhhh Potentially?” He decided to still come. I was dreading it before he even got there…..

I ended up meeting up with more people than just my one friend. We were all sitting at a big table in the back of a bar playing a card game when the guy and his two friends arrived. I could tell it was the same guy that was in the photo but those were definitely his better pictures. His friends were interesting fellas who barely spoke English and were of Indian descent. One of which looked to be in his 40’s and had his shirt half unbuttoned displaying his hairy chest… hot! And just an idea of my age at the time was 23 and everyone else was around the same age. They were extremely awkward and made passes at my friends whom I was with including the guy who was “supposed” to be interested in me. They made everyone at the table uncomfortable and by this time I was a little drunk, the guys got up to go to the bar to get another drink and our group found it a good time to exit…. Mean, I know, but C’mon I warned the guy before coming out and they were creepy. He ended up texting me asking where I went… I never responded… then texted again saying “I had fun let’s do it again” before the night was over… I was too drunk to respond. So I waited till the next day….

I am not the type of person to not text someone back, especially if I have met them in person. I believe honesty is the best policy but these few exchanges of texts are priceless…

He had texted about 1:30 am- “I had fun let’s do it again”

I texted back around 11am the next morning something like- “Hey, I am really sorry It was really nice meeting you but you aren’t really my type and I wouldn’t want to lead you on.”

He texts back- “It’s cool I wasn’t feeling it either”

I texted- “ Okay lol” (because I obviously knew that was bullshit because he had texted he had fun and wanted to hangout again)

He texts- “Were you interested in either of my friends?” (Now trying to push me onto his friends which I suppose I understand but would I have ditched you guys if I was?)

I texted- “They were very nice but sorry not my type”

He texts- “Hey guys I tried she’s not interested in any of us.” (texting me on accident rather than his friends)

I texted – “lol”

That was the end of that conversation.

Okay, important lessons from this awful but comical experience. Do not meet someone if you really aren’t interested, it will just lead to an awkward situation which sometimes I live for because I love a good story… sue me.  Be honest, I was honest that I would probably ditch him… and I did… but I warned and felt guilt free. Make sure you check who you are texting before actually pressing send. Texting the wrong person like that can be such a big problem… thankfully for him it was just probably embarrassing (if he even realized) and he will never know the times I have retold this story for a good laugh at people’s stupidity.

Ever have this happen to you?

#dating #onlinedating #firstdate  #text  #textissue #wrongperson #notinterested #ditch #baddate